Sometimes, the answer is yes and sometimes, the answer is no.

It’s funny, actually. A phrase I just started using with my three year old, has become a mantra for me.

While chatting with my aunt in Arizona during our trip last week, she told me about how she’s recently started using a phrase with her 5 year old, in order to help him understand – you don’t always get your way and there isn’t always going to be an explanation for things, especially when no is the answer.

I’ve started saying this to Henry this week and although he’s gotten good at repeating it, its going to take a little while for him to get the gist of it. He’s just now getting into the “why?” stage, so hopefully this is something we can work on with him as thaaaat whole thing progresses. #lifewithatoddler ugghh!

So, I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflecting lately…about this blog, how I spend my free time, my stressors, on-going house projects, etc. If you read either of my last 2 posts (Fall Mantle & Simple Fall touches) then you know that I was having an agonizing debate with myself about whether or not to participate in the Fall 2015 One Room Challenge with Calling it Home. I ultimately decided, no. Yes, I’ve known about the start date of the challenge for months now. Yes, I even had a room selected to makeover (it was actually a toss up between our family room OR our master bedroom). Yes, I had started the design process and took the “before” shots. But when it came down to it, I just didn’t have it in me to crank out such a big project and HUGE undertaking in 6 weeks. I looked at it from a couple of angles….

Do I have the time?

Well, no. not really. We were in Arizona last week until Sunday, October 11th and would have had to post week #1 while on vacation. Then arriving home and getting unpacked and organizing, when would I have squeezed in the time or found the energy to start working. In addition, we have out-of-town house guests the next 4 weekends and I am a stay-at-home mom to 2 little boys during the week. If I can’t work on projects on the weekends, then a few minutes during naptime, just isn’t going to cut it.

Do I have the focus?

No, not right now. I mentioned here that I am going to be circling back with all of my unfinished house projects (decorating, DIY’s, etc) in a number of areas in our home before I start anything new. Taking on an entire room doesn’t quite fit in the plan! As much as I absolutely love to decorate and create, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with everything that has been going on at once. The basement was a big undertaking and now that the contractors are gone & the sawdust has been cleaned up, I’ve put a lot of pressure on myself to get it “ready”. Well, an entire floor of your home with blank walls and the need for furniture, décor, etc. is kind of a BIG project. All the while I had other things I was working on prior to the basement even starting. I feel like I’ve shared snippets of the basement, but don’t feel like I even did a very good job as a blogger showing you where we started and where we’ve come. So my focus is to work towards completing projects that are half-way done or barely started. More to come, I promise! Mission: project lock it up! Finish it up and move on!

Do I have the energy?

Nope, not even close. Henry and Simon are little guys. They run me around every. single. day. Do I love being home with them? Absolutely! I wouldn’t trade it for the world. But am I tired by 4 or 5 o’clock? You got it! Without any family nearby (with the exception of my younger sister who is about 45 minutes away in Chicago), a husband who works 11-12 hour days and travels periodically, I find myself spinning in circles trying to take care of them, keep the house in order and find a little spare time for me! By the time they go to bed at night (little one at 7 and older one at 8), I’m beat! Projects (and lots & lots of chores) get pushed off to the next day or week. Sometimes a girl just wants to sit on the couch with a glass of red wine and catch up on the DVR!!

I answered these 3 questions rather quickly and ultimately said no. No, I am not going to participate in the One Room Challenge and yes, that’s ok! If I am going to devote my time and energy to a project, I want to be proud of the outcome. I don’t want to just go through the motions in order to check boxes along the way or make a big check at the end.  I had such a blast taking part in the Spring 2015 ORC and virtually met some of the most incredible blogger friends. Part of me felt like I would be missing out on reigniting or strengthening those connections again, but the other part of me knows I can continue to communicate and interact with them on our blogs and on social media (right now, I’m really into the TIOB Facebook page and instagram account). We chat daily! I will still support my ORC peeps, but will be doing it from the sidelines. I’m ok with that! I guess you have to get good with knowing when to tell yourself no. It just might be the best decision for everyone around you.

In addition to all of these house projects, keeping my busy, my family is and always will be number one. If I ever feel like they are taking a back-seat, I will slow down or take a break completely. Henry is actually going to be having a surgical procedure this Friday in order to remove a dermoid cyst from the left of his eyelid. It actually sits right on his brow bone. He has had it since birth and it hasn’t ever caused him any pain or trouble, but we decided it has been growing with him and we might as well have it taken off while he is still young. He will be going under, but it is an outpatient procedure and his recovery time should be super speedy. Thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated! I know there isn’t much to worry about, but he’s still my baby!

Phwew! How about that for a Wednesday?! Even though this entire post goes against the idea behind “Sometimes the answer is yes and sometimes it’s no.” by giving an explanation, I felt like I wanted to. I don’t get too deep and personal on the blog, but I do feel its important to let you know where my head’s at every so often. I’ve had several people ask about my participation in the ORC and while I don’t feel like I have to defend my decision for saying no this time around, I did feel like it was an opportunity to share the why. I hope you’ll support my new mission to finish up some lingering things going on over here and not be disappointed with the lack of brand new projects being posted!

I know this is a different kind of post for me, but you may remember, one of the goals I shared back in September was to be more personal over here.  I would love for you to know more about me as a person, my roles as a mom & wife, versus just my blogger/decorator/crafter sides. I actually have a “get to know me” post drafted. I plan to have it out sometime in the next week, so stay tuned!

Thank you for letting me vent a bit, guys! It really helped me to sort things out by getting it down in writing. I seriously appreciate each and every one of you, so thanks for reading (even long, drawn-out posts like this 😉 )!